Sweet Pandora

I need to get better at tumblerizin’.

If a woman gets pregnant all the women she’s ever met in her whole life will appear from all corners of the earth to support her by telling her horror stories of all the pregnancies they’ve ever heard about.
“It’s fantastic what you’re doing. I love the way you’re handling this. It won’t be like what happened to Michelle.”
“What? What happened to Michelle?”
“Oh, did I say Michelle? I didn’t mean to mention that, I’m sorry. Don’t worry…she was a fool. She ate vegetables and drank water. The baby came out her ear. You’ll be fine. You’ll be absolutely fine. Nothing will happen to you. She can’t sit down now. Nobody in the family talks to one another. You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Dylan Moran (via thecaitfish)

It’s true.

(via dailydoseofdylanmoran)

Sounds familiar…maybe this is why I didn’t get in much trouble as a teenager.

Sounds familiar…maybe this is why I didn’t get in much trouble as a teenager.